bye bye 2012

ola folks!

I'm sorta swooping through this post cuz I'm not gonna have any time else before 2012 ends! It's so crazy how the year has passed like in a snap.

So. I just wanna end this year thanking Jesus;

Maaaan. You have been so ridiculously faithful and I cannot even begin to describe how amazing You have been to me 'cuz I would have failed the moment I tried. All year I have been quite (extremely) the selfish, ungrateful brat, but you keep coming back and into my boat, knowing full well the person I am. You use me especially when I have no ability. You love me especially when I'm all wretched. You draw close, especially when nobody wants me. And You believe in me, especially when I give up on myself. And on top on Yourself, You send people to love me, believe in me and guide me. Then You teach me love, and You send people for me to love, and oh what a privilege-- because life really isn't life without people to love.

And if these weren't enough, You call me friend, daughter; my fair one.

I am thrilled because I know that in 2013, You're gonna be a hundred gazillion infinitrillion times sweeter, and unpredictable! I can't wait to be surprised hehe! I love You too ;)

And I end abruptly, right about now.
See u guys next year and have a really blessed one!

fan the flames, burn the chains

Hi folks,

I didn't want to start whining about my cold to anyone excessively... so I figured the least imposing place to purge about it was this space hahahahahaha. Okay I'm kidding I'm not gonna go on about it, or maybe I am. Nahh-- I'vehadthisawfulcoldsincesundayandit'snotgoingaway!!!!!!!!! Okay sorry. I had to. My nose is having mood swings or something. Runny then blocked then runny then more runny then blocked. And the throat feels like sand paper and comb against each other when I try to clear it. Yux. And have I mentioned I sound like a smurf???! #cray

Beyond all that, I managed to clear my drawing assignment and pull through 4 hours of sketch today hehe. #survivor this tells you a lot about how much I love drawing module.

Ok blabbering aside, I bumped into a really precious friend today. I had my shopping load of christmas stuffs and with them tired hands feet nose eyes nose again and everything, I bumped into this girl and I reacted to her by igno----  giving her a huge smile. (and that basically set everything else in place) Haha ok you know what I mean..

It's a crazy day, your body is behaving crazy, you just wanna head home and sleep off the madness. Who cares about some random person you haven't met for 5 years and so happen to bump into on the train? Jesus does. And so she responded to that smile and started sharing almost casually about what was going on over at her end. I'm still amazed by that amount of openness. And to sum it up, we're doing wanton mee date next week. I couldn't help but walk away from that feeling.. really... loved. Like I knew Jesus really loved her, cuz she seems to be finding someone from church to speak to again (it's been a good while). But I, I knew I was loved cuz He knows these sort of days are those that gets me all pumped up. Love it. Love that I got to be a friend, and got a friend today. Love love love it.

#stillexcitedbutineedtogetrestedsogoodnightimashutit #goawayuterriblecoldshooaway #okreallybye

x.

hear+

Love is enough.

light be

"Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one. None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus has embraced us." 

That is a little extract from the second half of Romans 8:31-39; the message bible. I love how it ends: "absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus has embraced us." His embrace is more than enough, and I want to believe that. Nothing can seperate us, not even my screaming and tantrums and pushing away or smelly feet. Nothing.

Things have been crazy emotional the last couple of weeks and the crazier thing is that, I can't put my finger on a specific issue. I just know that, beyond my valid fears and sadness stands strong the Word. I'm thankful for friends who tell me it's alright to be sad and at the same time remind me Truth. So today after much tears and worship and lifting my hands up even though I don't feel like it, is me encouraging you. 

Pal, you're not a flipping accident equivalent to passing wind. You were chosen to be loved.


xx,
sam

with everything

This whole time, I thought I was filled with loving kindness like yo 

I was the nicest person and best-est friend ever-- ever. 

Then bam. No. I realised I was the furthest thing from perfect. 

And I still am, the furthest thing from perfect. 

But knowing that the Perfect one Himself has got my back, changes the entire situation. 

Knowing that makes me wanna get off my seat and throw my hands up in the air 

and paarrttaaaayyeeee.

Knowing that you are loved unconditionally, sets you free. 

I guess with Jesus... the only way things can go after hitting rock bottom, is UP. (little talks with joan confirmed by sara's birthday balloons heh)

towers

Sometimes, I find myself struggling between nice and wise. It hit me today (after Brid's words clicked on a light bulb inside of me ding ding) that it's not all that hard to differeniate. (Jesus loved the pharisees all the same, but He was never nice when they hauled at His sheep.)

Anyway, I think I learned recently that nothing I do makes sense anymore, unless He is in the midst. I can't talk about my life is Jesus is not in it. And I can't talk about my craft if Jesus is not in it. There is no point. I can't do anything right if Jesus is not in it (not for very long anyway cuz even the good by chance is of Him). I love taking pictures because I like stopping by to capture moments. Sometimes these moments are chanced upon, sometimes these moments are created. Nonetheless, we don't get to return to them. I know nobody cares for more than 2 seconds about these moments I share, that I put all my heart in to beautify and minus contrast to. But I do it still, because I know Jesus cares that I care. Well you get the point, it still has to be of and about Jesus, even if I don't spell it in your face. And I really don't have to because... only in Him and through Him, all things consist. Which means everything we see touch breathe hear smell feel walk past sing about talk about desire (again, u get the point), is by Him. Okay sorry getting carried away. There isn't a main point to this post really. Jesus loves you. Jesus loves me, He cares for you, but He really cares for me. I needed to remind myself that nothing else matters, so.. that's all.


Today was a rainy day. Towers seem to sound exactly how I've been feeling all day.
(u can skip till 1:18 mins)

Pick up a love letter, share with the world your favourite line from it and have some cereal.
Goodnight folks.

featherstone

Here's a couple of my fav shots the last few months hehe, it's been awhile hasn't it.
1. Where we drive through every weekend
2. CG and happy feet with Aemanda
3. Dhoby Gaut with Sara
4. Kev and Dora's wedding
5. Worship Min ASG @ The Star
6. Rizman Putra, Director of Decimal Point 5.1 // The Substation
7. Portsdown Road
8. Cary, Jean's typewriter // TDCC
9. BKK street, March '12
10. My wall (credits to Jean for this one!)


// Spent today with the mama and we got home just in time before it started to pour so yay.

Been writing again recently and I quite liked one of my drafts so I'ma share it here ~

To the taped on smiles, that disappeared

And three week indulgence of love and fear

Who would be sorry, oh they will deny

To all the thrill and dressed up lies

In the cold dark alleys of wondering

Why am I here, full of worthless trying

No one bothers when you're in pain

They bind you with more of these empty chains 

Selah 

I'll close my eyes to see You again

I want no distractions

I'll lift my hands, to feel Your embrace

You're all I want 

All that i want, here with me

xx

I recently got my answer to why I was put through some of these things I experienced and I cannot be more set free... This is prolly the most accurate way to summarize all that 5 years of hurt and confusion and pain. I've come to experience a love that is far greater than any rejection can wound, and a hope way more overwhelming than any darkness can impose. This is Christ and this is His promise.

I've found that one Place that loves me and I never want to leave. 

I never want to be anywhere else. 

And if you're hurting, and you think you've cried all that you can, then know that you're not alone. It's not about you being right or wrong in this, it's about Jesus loving you crazy no matter what you've done or haven't done. So I urge you, to call on this One person if you are beyond broken and have no more strength left... 

Because you haven't anything to lose, and He has everything to give. 

---------------------------------------------------

cardigan weather

Hello munchkins,

We did a cover yesterday hehehe you can watch it here: http://youtu.be/PA1WUdr74xQ

xx, sam

clouds

This sept has been one of my most satisfying holidays ever in the history of holidaying! Hehe. Met great new people I know I'm gna keep for life and am so glad to be celebrating some of the best gifts that have stuck it through with me till here. 

Smile's been so faithful at reconstructing and healing all my pieces; I know You're keeping at it. And over the hols, I've come to realise that I can choose to fix my eyes on the One in my boat instead of the storms around it. So, I'm extremely thrilled for Sem 2 of school -- especially when 3 of my favouritest classies are gna be stuck with me for another 15weeks yayhay ~

happy notes to self:

1. bar area @ Jimmy Monkey's

2. date with @prills, love this crazy amazing girl

3. the table I've personally claimed for myself @ JM's

4. Celebrating Di on her 18th (wo ai de RP kias)

5. Celebrating Di on her 18th x2 

 

6. twelvecupcakes for dad's 50th

7. famy (missing momma + jonny)

8. w/ jia; no doubt one of my biggest fruits of the year-- I've grown to love ya so much mate :')

9. unready shot but.... ok hi ootd wiwt (for 10/10/12 not that it's important) foots (fav outfit of the season hahahahahaha)

Lastly, here's my favouritest wallpaper I've created thus far. It's got everything about me on it. The clouds, the tainted colours, the tagline, the triangle love. Not forgetting the amazing work Sara did to my phone cover---- I get to hold clouds in my hand everyday now hehe super lovin' it! Oh, and since we're on the subject, thank you Sara for being another amazing fruit of my 2012. How I've grown to love you so much, too :)

So bring it on 3rd quarter of unceasing fruitfulness!

ps: missing Melia, Lili and my brotha so so so much, thank God distance is weaker than what we have and of course, for whatsapp and instagram hehehe :'-)

xx,

sam

dreameow

Dream on. Dream again. 

I dream that as I speak, the feminine heart will come alive.

I dream to be a part of a women's conference with my lovely girls one day.

I dream to one day be on stage with my brother.

I dream to tell others to dream. 

I dream to one day live in a rustic house full of life, framed up pictures and randomly themed kitchen ware with the man I love. And maybe two cats.

Today, I can dream. 

Cuz' Your dreams died young along with You, that I may live and dream on.

So, I dream again. 

break breaking broken

Have you ever wondered why God allows brokenness to happen in our lives?

I have, many times. 

Elijah Waters sorta answered the question for me. 

God allows brokenness to happen our lives because when you break something, you get to the inside of it. More often than not, the best parts are on the inside. (Like bread-- the best parts are on the inside) God wants to get to the inside of your heart. He wants to rid you of yourself; let you see that you cannot on your own. Truly, it hurts because we always realize through brokenness--- that we are honestly not all that strong. 

The best part's that-- well here's what Jesus does with bread;

"He takes it, blesses it, breaks it and gives it."

He takes you, blesses you, breaks you and gives you.
I love that He blesses before breaking-- He's anointed you for every season of your life!
It's not like you're on your own, you cannot be! Because He's promised.
"I'll never leave you, nor forsake you."

Many times we think brokenness is forever, but no, Jesus has rose from the death of brokenness. 

Get this. There's an expiration date for trials.

So you've been hurt? And broken? Trampled upon? 

Maybe life seems pretty bleak by now... Well, not in the hands of Jesus; you won't. 

Not in the hands that have been pierced through and through so that today yours can be restored. 

Not in the hands who bled, whose heart was crushed, to redeem yours. 

So He takes the broken bread and He gives them.

To the hungry people He gives them, to the tired people He gives. 

He does not send them away, he doesnt. 

He takes bread, blesses it, breaks it, and gives it.

You could be part of the hungry multitude today, we are all once part of that crowd; helpless and hopeless, alone and hungry---- in need of the Bread of life and the living Water.

Well, Jesus came for you, He'll never send you away when you come knocking. 

He wants to feed you hungry one. 

Or you could be part of the broken bread today-- the first thing hungry people touch; 

the first form of His grace people see. 

Now even brokenness is a hope.

:'-)

church in the wild

I've been feeling like I fall short, more than ever. 

Then He hit me yesterday with "You can never fail beyond what I have redeemed Sam." 

And I was like... okay can Lord-- You just win only. 

Jesus is so good. He won't let you drown even if you take your eyes off him (Peter) and 

He won't you leave you alone just 'cause you feel like a 1 unnoticeable sheep amongst the 100. 

He won't allow you to touch just His garment, He wants to look you in the eyes 

and let you touch His heart. 

My bro and I have walked in through many battles, knowing that we came out alive only because 

God was there. We are the most wretched people we know, and that's why we can love Grace today.

Because He came for the wretched, He came for us... He came for people who needed Someone. 

And boy did we need Someone. We still do.

Things are changing around at home, it has to. I can't even imagine when Jon does return from Perth,

doing not just life, but ministry together! For now, we know He is faithful, and that He will sail us 

through these storms, He already has.

Amen. 

"For the Lord will comfort zion,

He will comfort all her waste places;

He will make her wilderness like Eden,

And her desert like the garden of Yahweh;

Joy and gladness will be found in it,

Thanksgiving and the voice of melody."

- Isaiah 51:3

He says, "I, even I, am He who comforts you..." -inserts mental sob here-

Watch out world, We're going on a completely new level. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ps: I caught 'Adam' directed by Max Mayer today, it was pretty cool alright. 

I pretty much fell in love with the soundtrack, might just head out to get it if they do sell it in S'pore dadadum ~

xx, sam

okb

Hello munchkins, 

Today was the first day of our term break so Di and I headed out for some cupcakes at okb. We had an amazing time of catching up, we got out and it was an amazing sun out there, with amazing doors and floors and so we whipped out my iphone 4s and...

so, Kampong Bahru Road + Di + Pretty Places + Broadwalk + Dream/Minstry/Word/Love/Rubbish Talk sums up happy day with one of my greatest blessings :')

"I asked today, so He is gonna give."

xx

up and leave

"Hold my hand, won't you hold my heart. Stay with me, stay with me through hardest part."

hands off the rope

"Let go."

These are two words I cringe to hear of. A sentence so short I often believe that it is illegal for any advice to be that simple, hence I dread it profusely. It basically is one of my toughest battles. 

It's like someone goes, "Sam, you need to le--" and I'm like all hands up, "Don't say it, no. Please don't say the l/g phrase." 

With that said, you must know today's sermon was a painfully good one if you were there too. Pastor did an amazing full-on message about letting go completely. And he did mean letting go, like for real. Letting go not with one hand grabbing onto the rope whilst the other is freely flapping about, that is just miserable.
"Let go, knowing that when you do, Jesus doesn't."

Letting go can happen only if you know Someone truly loves you. 

I've had Elijah Waters' 'Surprise Party' playing on repeat the last 2 days, whenever I could. 

It's too early for bed: Play.

I can't sleep: Play. 

I wake up in the middle of the night: Play.

I am on my way to church: Play.

I am waiting for service to start: Play.

I am done with service and lunch and waiting for my meeting to begin: Play.

I am done with the day and on me way home: Play.

I am here typing this to gather my thoughts: Play. 

I remember when I chanced upon the podcast (which has been rotting in my phone for months now), I was fighting my tears on the well-lit bus full of people. By the end of it, my hope jar was about to burst. 

I realised how much I did not understand God's love for me tho I thought I did, and how that really did not affect the extent of which He loved me ---- only measureable to His own life. I begin to realise how God can take me, (quoting Ps Elijah) "from a small mimic pussy cat, and turn me into a big bold lion."
That is what love can do. 

This broke my heart good and really, I started to get excited.

A super huge reminder: Grace is for today.

The manna God provided for the Israelis lasted them for that day. So, I've decided to thank God and praise Jesus for my daily manna, knowing that He supplies for my needs, that He is made strong in my weaknesses, instead of worrying for the manna I need in 2 days' time (which btw I cannot eat even if I could see it....)

Lengthy lion, yes I am a lion, not a pussy cat--- and I'm still learning how to completely be conscious of Christ; to remind myself to stop gripping onto the rope for my dear life till my hands are bleeding and worn out as though I am living life on my own. My life was paid for, my life was redeemed and my life continues from here, 03/09/12 2:48am, belonging to the One who gave up everything for me. 

I am gonna stop being a proud pork knuckle thinking my entire life credits my own goodness.

I am nothing. He is everything. 

Goodnight beautiful people ~

blueberries who worries

Did a short write today: http://rabbetplane.tumblr.com

Hello painful smile and postcard I'm journaling to Smiles with that is not big enough to contain all of my pain... oh and hello cardigan weather. (literally)

My weekend was full of breaking moments and haunting thoughts that didn't let me off on my first day of UT3. Not so much as journaling and word and cereal and cornerstone album and rain and crying couldn't fix really.

On a happier note, I'm left with 2 papers on monday after tomorrow, my films are all in and I've decided to dip dye my hair once I get my hands on le hair dye....... (which I hope will be soon or if there's anyone reading this who knows where to get turquoise/ pastel pink hair dye please let me know!!!) Jia has been so very kind as to rent out her ears to get me hair done-- k no one's gna get this only Jean; so here's credit to ya for being an awesome bunny.

So. In the last one month I have left this space for cricket noises,

The school term's ended (congrats to all to have survived 15 weeks of horrendous marketing and of course, congrats me). I took my first day off to clean up my room and the house and I've feasted on Lucky Charms for as much as a one month break from it is needed (and I mean my wallet needs a break from it, cuz my taste buds certainly do not).

Also, been up to some wallpaper business recently. I was just kinda done with having trash on my lock screen and really wanted reminders -- how better than to make one on my own hey. So me got a bitty help from Paul the genius and decided good things are meant to be shared, so I tagged myself in on Project #Daretobenotverygood (cuz #daretosuck has terrible connotations...) This one up there's been my lock screen for a couple of weeks now. I hope you steal it dear reader, cuz if anything, this is prolly the only thing you need to get out of this blog post. 

For this last bit; the best waffer thingy from Sushi Tei Hugh introduced to me about 2 years back (from which I've never looked back) // ooh and experimental nails from today -- i haven't got a fancy name for it so.

Well, that's it beautiful people. Hope your heart is alright, mine will be soon enough ~
Goodnight x.

ear candy

ps: SOS by Gin Wigmore's been on replay almost inexhaustibly. Do enjoy!

priorities and heart

1. Word
2. Family
3. People
4. School
5. Cardigan Weather

"I will open rivers in desolate heights,
And fountains in the midst of the valleys;
I will make the wilderness a pool of water,
And the dry lands springs of water."

#nomoredrylands
With every decision made, there is a grace and empowerment for it.


xx,
sam

The Kooks

Might I say I've fallen deeper in love with The Kooks? (it's always the case isn't it, when the show is taken up to a whole new level--- right before your eyes.) Caught The Kooks on wednesday with Jared and Jed and my pretty cardigan weather matey! I'm really glad Sijia91 enjoyed herself (I'm assuming she did.) And I have prove: She was screaming about frantically-- "I KNOW THIS SONG! YES THIS ONE! I KNOW THIS SONG! FINALLY!! ONE SONG I KNOW!"-- Hahahahahaha I'm quite sure she converted into an avid fan after that night. #yay #chemistrylevelup
We have started on Cardigan Weather plans and we're praying it will work out well. (inserts epic teehee) On a side note, I'm almost done with UT2 and, the Parrys touch down in S'pore on Monday. It is going to be extremely exciting.

Work resumes this August, Lord I receive Your grace for the month!
Huge note to self: IT STILL IS A YEAR OF UNCEASING FRUITFULNESS.

Alright today's wedding set will be blessed, and svc will be amazing #speakforth ~
Meow.