surrender

Nights like these.

I have Surrender playing in my ears.
The guy is singing, "I lay it all down... I lay it all down... I lay it all down, at Your feet."

I'm looking out into the streets as everything passes me by, and I feel strong again. I know that all this waiting happens for a good reason. The sole purpose of moulding me into the most beautiful human being I was born to be.

Suddenly, everyone else dissipates from the picture and there remains, You and I.
You're holding my hand, holding me.

You say, "Everything is going to be more than fine." And right there, I believe You.
I might not tomorrow, and I may not have yesterday, but right now-- in this very moment, I do. I know that You are for me.

So, "I surrender all to You."

(16/2)

bye bye 2012

ola folks!

I'm sorta swooping through this post cuz I'm not gonna have any time else before 2012 ends! It's so crazy how the year has passed like in a snap.

So. I just wanna end this year thanking Jesus;

Maaaan. You have been so ridiculously faithful and I cannot even begin to describe how amazing You have been to me 'cuz I would have failed the moment I tried. All year I have been quite (extremely) the selfish, ungrateful brat, but you keep coming back and into my boat, knowing full well the person I am. You use me especially when I have no ability. You love me especially when I'm all wretched. You draw close, especially when nobody wants me. And You believe in me, especially when I give up on myself. And on top on Yourself, You send people to love me, believe in me and guide me. Then You teach me love, and You send people for me to love, and oh what a privilege-- because life really isn't life without people to love.

And if these weren't enough, You call me friend, daughter; my fair one.

I am thrilled because I know that in 2013, You're gonna be a hundred gazillion infinitrillion times sweeter, and unpredictable! I can't wait to be surprised hehe! I love You too ;)

And I end abruptly, right about now.
See u guys next year and have a really blessed one!

fan the flames, burn the chains

Hi folks,

I didn't want to start whining about my cold to anyone excessively... so I figured the least imposing place to purge about it was this space hahahahahaha. Okay I'm kidding I'm not gonna go on about it, or maybe I am. Nahh-- I'vehadthisawfulcoldsincesundayandit'snotgoingaway!!!!!!!!! Okay sorry. I had to. My nose is having mood swings or something. Runny then blocked then runny then more runny then blocked. And the throat feels like sand paper and comb against each other when I try to clear it. Yux. And have I mentioned I sound like a smurf???! #cray

Beyond all that, I managed to clear my drawing assignment and pull through 4 hours of sketch today hehe. #survivor this tells you a lot about how much I love drawing module.

Ok blabbering aside, I bumped into a really precious friend today. I had my shopping load of christmas stuffs and with them tired hands feet nose eyes nose again and everything, I bumped into this girl and I reacted to her by igno----  giving her a huge smile. (and that basically set everything else in place) Haha ok you know what I mean..

It's a crazy day, your body is behaving crazy, you just wanna head home and sleep off the madness. Who cares about some random person you haven't met for 5 years and so happen to bump into on the train? Jesus does. And so she responded to that smile and started sharing almost casually about what was going on over at her end. I'm still amazed by that amount of openness. And to sum it up, we're doing wanton mee date next week. I couldn't help but walk away from that feeling.. really... loved. Like I knew Jesus really loved her, cuz she seems to be finding someone from church to speak to again (it's been a good while). But I, I knew I was loved cuz He knows these sort of days are those that gets me all pumped up. Love it. Love that I got to be a friend, and got a friend today. Love love love it.

#stillexcitedbutineedtogetrestedsogoodnightimashutit #goawayuterriblecoldshooaway #okreallybye

x.

hear+

Love is enough.

light be

"Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one. None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus has embraced us." 

That is a little extract from the second half of Romans 8:31-39; the message bible. I love how it ends: "absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus has embraced us." His embrace is more than enough, and I want to believe that. Nothing can seperate us, not even my screaming and tantrums and pushing away or smelly feet. Nothing.

Things have been crazy emotional the last couple of weeks and the crazier thing is that, I can't put my finger on a specific issue. I just know that, beyond my valid fears and sadness stands strong the Word. I'm thankful for friends who tell me it's alright to be sad and at the same time remind me Truth. So today after much tears and worship and lifting my hands up even though I don't feel like it, is me encouraging you. 

Pal, you're not a flipping accident equivalent to passing wind. You were chosen to be loved.


xx,
sam

with everything

This whole time, I thought I was filled with loving kindness like yo 

I was the nicest person and best-est friend ever-- ever. 

Then bam. No. I realised I was the furthest thing from perfect. 

And I still am, the furthest thing from perfect. 

But knowing that the Perfect one Himself has got my back, changes the entire situation. 

Knowing that makes me wanna get off my seat and throw my hands up in the air 

and paarrttaaaayyeeee.

Knowing that you are loved unconditionally, sets you free. 

I guess with Jesus... the only way things can go after hitting rock bottom, is UP. (little talks with joan confirmed by sara's birthday balloons heh)

towers

Sometimes, I find myself struggling between nice and wise. It hit me today (after Brid's words clicked on a light bulb inside of me ding ding) that it's not all that hard to differeniate. (Jesus loved the pharisees all the same, but He was never nice when they hauled at His sheep.)

Anyway, I think I learned recently that nothing I do makes sense anymore, unless He is in the midst. I can't talk about my life is Jesus is not in it. And I can't talk about my craft if Jesus is not in it. There is no point. I can't do anything right if Jesus is not in it (not for very long anyway cuz even the good by chance is of Him). I love taking pictures because I like stopping by to capture moments. Sometimes these moments are chanced upon, sometimes these moments are created. Nonetheless, we don't get to return to them. I know nobody cares for more than 2 seconds about these moments I share, that I put all my heart in to beautify and minus contrast to. But I do it still, because I know Jesus cares that I care. Well you get the point, it still has to be of and about Jesus, even if I don't spell it in your face. And I really don't have to because... only in Him and through Him, all things consist. Which means everything we see touch breathe hear smell feel walk past sing about talk about desire (again, u get the point), is by Him. Okay sorry getting carried away. There isn't a main point to this post really. Jesus loves you. Jesus loves me, He cares for you, but He really cares for me. I needed to remind myself that nothing else matters, so.. that's all.


Today was a rainy day. Towers seem to sound exactly how I've been feeling all day.
(u can skip till 1:18 mins)

Pick up a love letter, share with the world your favourite line from it and have some cereal.
Goodnight folks.

featherstone

Here's a couple of my fav shots the last few months hehe, it's been awhile hasn't it.
1. Where we drive through every weekend
2. CG and happy feet with Aemanda
3. Dhoby Gaut with Sara
4. Kev and Dora's wedding
5. Worship Min ASG @ The Star
6. Rizman Putra, Director of Decimal Point 5.1 // The Substation
7. Portsdown Road
8. Cary, Jean's typewriter // TDCC
9. BKK street, March '12
10. My wall (credits to Jean for this one!)


// Spent today with the mama and we got home just in time before it started to pour so yay.

Been writing again recently and I quite liked one of my drafts so I'ma share it here ~

To the taped on smiles, that disappeared

And three week indulgence of love and fear

Who would be sorry, oh they will deny

To all the thrill and dressed up lies

In the cold dark alleys of wondering

Why am I here, full of worthless trying

No one bothers when you're in pain

They bind you with more of these empty chains 

Selah 

I'll close my eyes to see You again

I want no distractions

I'll lift my hands, to feel Your embrace

You're all I want 

All that i want, here with me

xx

I recently got my answer to why I was put through some of these things I experienced and I cannot be more set free... This is prolly the most accurate way to summarize all that 5 years of hurt and confusion and pain. I've come to experience a love that is far greater than any rejection can wound, and a hope way more overwhelming than any darkness can impose. This is Christ and this is His promise.

I've found that one Place that loves me and I never want to leave. 

I never want to be anywhere else. 

And if you're hurting, and you think you've cried all that you can, then know that you're not alone. It's not about you being right or wrong in this, it's about Jesus loving you crazy no matter what you've done or haven't done. So I urge you, to call on this One person if you are beyond broken and have no more strength left... 

Because you haven't anything to lose, and He has everything to give. 

---------------------------------------------------

cardigan weather

Hello munchkins,

We did a cover yesterday hehehe you can watch it here: http://youtu.be/PA1WUdr74xQ

xx, sam

clouds

This sept has been one of my most satisfying holidays ever in the history of holidaying! Hehe. Met great new people I know I'm gna keep for life and am so glad to be celebrating some of the best gifts that have stuck it through with me till here. 

Smile's been so faithful at reconstructing and healing all my pieces; I know You're keeping at it. And over the hols, I've come to realise that I can choose to fix my eyes on the One in my boat instead of the storms around it. So, I'm extremely thrilled for Sem 2 of school -- especially when 3 of my favouritest classies are gna be stuck with me for another 15weeks yayhay ~

happy notes to self:

1. bar area @ Jimmy Monkey's

2. date with @prills, love this crazy amazing girl

3. the table I've personally claimed for myself @ JM's

4. Celebrating Di on her 18th (wo ai de RP kias)

5. Celebrating Di on her 18th x2 

 

6. twelvecupcakes for dad's 50th

7. famy (missing momma + jonny)

8. w/ jia; no doubt one of my biggest fruits of the year-- I've grown to love ya so much mate :')

9. unready shot but.... ok hi ootd wiwt (for 10/10/12 not that it's important) foots (fav outfit of the season hahahahahaha)

Lastly, here's my favouritest wallpaper I've created thus far. It's got everything about me on it. The clouds, the tainted colours, the tagline, the triangle love. Not forgetting the amazing work Sara did to my phone cover---- I get to hold clouds in my hand everyday now hehe super lovin' it! Oh, and since we're on the subject, thank you Sara for being another amazing fruit of my 2012. How I've grown to love you so much, too :)

So bring it on 3rd quarter of unceasing fruitfulness!

ps: missing Melia, Lili and my brotha so so so much, thank God distance is weaker than what we have and of course, for whatsapp and instagram hehehe :'-)

xx,

sam